The Ex Issue

What bothers you the most? Me? Nothing until things come to my ex. 

If you wonder how many ex-es I had and which one I'm talking about, I'm not gonna tell ya. If you know me you'll know. 

It's been almost a year, I thought I'm perfectly fine. I mean, I SHOULD BE perfectly fine! Geez it was just a goddamn four months relationship, how could it gonna affects me in anyway? Pfft. Please! I do really think I'm fine. Though I did drunk call him a couple times in the middle of the night and crap all the nonsense. (Yes, I did and I hate myself for doing this the every next day morning. -.-) I completely fine whether he talks to me or not. I swear I dont really care. Despite the awful experience caused by him, he's indeed a funny friend. 

We never talk like around two months or more, since we officially broke up until one day, we bumped into each other in the club. Well I was sitting alone and he saw me and came and say hi like nothing's happened. I swear I didnt feel anything about it, maybe a little bit surprised and maybe a little bit happy... That was how we started to talk. 

Gosh what I'm talking about. 

I really hate him but I even hate myself for being so stupid so... I dont know. There should has a word to describes my stupidity. Pathetic? Frustrating? Fragile? (Ew definitely not fragile)

Whenever I think 'hell yea I already forget about him', THEN he'll appears from nowhere! EVERYTIME! I tried to keep myself away from him, acting normal, try to be cool, ignore him. But all these efforts just fail when he touches my head like how he used to, grabs and hugs me like how he used to. And all these are freakin' making me expect more from him. 'Maybe he's still into me?' THIS IS SO UNFAIR! And SO PATHETIC! How could he do this to me when he actually DOESNT LOVE ME ANYMORE?!? 

The worst thing is, I KNEW IT! And I just cant resist it. FML!

Try to persuade myself, lie to my own feeling, I can just as flirty as him, I dont have any feelings toward him even hatred, he's TOTALLY NOTHING to me. And these excuses do work to make myself thought I'm good....

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Until last few days...

where all these excuses broke and wakes me up. 

I knew he got loads of girls out there (whatever maybe not that many but he did has some flings after breaking up with me). Out of curious, I even asked him things about a girl, he didnt tell much but I know what's that mean. Well, it didnt make me dying sad or anything, just no feeling. And I really just being a curious cat to ask him things of him with another girl. 

I thought I'm really finally get over of him until I saw him with another girl that day... with my own eyes, right in front of me. I didnt get mad but it annoyed me so hard. It wasnt a good night and I blamed it to my tiredness of working 13 hours that day. 

I didnt really expect I'll see him that night especially he with his new girlfriend (I'm not sure). And my heart skipped a beat when I saw that. As usual, act normal plus ignoring. But those intimate behaviors just fucking annoyed me. 

I hate seeing him taking her bag for her, I hate seeing him touching her hair, I hate seeing him hugging her, I hate them whispering in front of me. I HATE MYSELF FOR BEING SO ANNOYED, IT WAS NON OF MY BUSINESS! And the worst thing was the girl was so friendly and adorable! ARGH!

Well I didnt hate seeing them being together to be honest. (I wish them happy sincerely) I felt uncomfortable. My heart felt uneasy. I was wretched.

Few days before that he was still flirting with me and now I see him with a new girl. It's kinda unacceptable. You made me expect more from you and you didnt even bother to tell me you're seeing someone. I really wanna know what kind of position I'm having in your heart? What I'm your toy fooling my emotions? How could you do this to me?

Look, I knew he's totally an asshole. He broke up with me via fb inbox one day before my birthday with a reason 'feeling is faded away', even wished my have a blast. Yea thank you it was really a great blast spending alone at home with the death of my cat. THANK YOU ASSHOLE! 

I loved you and it's really time to move on. I really wish I can never see you again, it's abusively torturing my heart. It's kinda sad 'cause you're really nice to talk with. 

It was so miserable and it affected my mood terribly in the next few days. Keep disturbing my friends in my whatsapp list. (Sorry friends!) Lol! 

Thanks to Shun Jie for being a listener. Well I'm not sure was he reading my text but I felt much better after typing it out and send it to someone else. It's like sending my sadness out. LOL! Thank you for the receiving Shun Jie! With loves!!! 

I wanted him to slap me to wake me up but he was so sweet, he said he cant do that 'cause his hand will be painful... -______________- Okay then he added on, his heart will be painful too. AWWHHHHhhhhh!! Where to get such a nice friend?!

Grandma story done. 

Toodle!

Dear Muntatt,


Hoi! It's been so long! As I told you, I'm living in pg d! I'm working there in Northam! Awhh! Northam always reminds me of you. =) Remember I was drunk and dang you talked to me purposely and recorded it down! Then teased me with it the next day. Argh I shouldve really record our conversations down, now I got nothing to see and hear when I'm missing you... Memories are all I have... 


I hate you! Why when I'm finally staying in pg and you're not here with me! You supposed to be there with me for bfast, lunch, dinner, supper, parties and talk! And I'm doing these all alone now... =( I dont even have someone who can watch movies with me! You know how sad it is? Whenever I'm alone, I think of you. We could have lotsa fun. 


I miss you Muntatt... I got loads of things wanna tell you and I need your funny advises... Talk to you always make me feel fine. I miss how we used to talk every minute of everyday and how I was able to tell you everything that was in my mine. I miss our conversations. I miss your drunk calls; I miss you how whine to me about the day, who you met, what you see. But all of these are only can be found in our memories. 


I bumped into Von that day at Penang Bowl! But we didnt talk much... I always feel like wanna be closer with her like a friend but I'm not sure whether it gonna makes me weird or not. We never really have a real conversation after all...  


I miss you Muntatt. Life in pg is boring without you. Sincerely! 




Love you!

Take for granted

I used to think, it's perfectly alright to take your best friends for granted, because they are your best friends. With them, I can say everything in my mind, agree, disagree like or dislike. Even though sometimes when I said something mean, I take it for granted that they WILL understand, I WAS JOKING.

"How do you think about this dress?" Best friend asked.


"I dont know, I dont like it. It's perfect for you if you're 70."

Wait, it wasnt really mean.

Anyway, so aint best friends are someone you can say everything with? Just because you're my best friend I feel comfortable to say what I want. You dont expect me to burst everything out to an ordinary friend, right? Best friend knows when I'm being serious, when I'm telling a joke, I didnt ask for too much to think that way right?

There's a gang of best friends I've been mixing with since primary school. They give me good advises, they know my joke, they'll be here when I need helps with no string attached, they can fully accept the way I am - the REAL me. I really feel perfectly comfortable to be with them, sincerely. And I love them.

REAL me give REAL comments, speak REAL words which are happens to be offensive to those who dont know me or not closed with me. That's why I hard to get a real friend who understand me, and once I take you as my real friend, it's really hard for me to get closed with other people. I think I'm weird.

There's an incident happened months ago. Though it's been awhile, it still runs in my mind over and over again.  It's actually not a big deal but I just cant get through of it.

I said something... bad about my bestie's bf and she got mad at me. Like real mad. I SWEAR I WAS JUST KIDDING, I dont mean it and I really said it in a joking way. ...This is how it happened... We were in the car, I was holding her handphone, there came her bf's call, his grimaced face popped out and I said..........
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'Yer why your bf so yong soi (ugly) wan?'
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Was that too much? I dont know, if I was her I wont be so mad, in fact I'll say 'Yea I think so' and laugh together with her. Because I know she didnt meant it, and that was apparently a joke after all. I cant think for whatever reason she can be so mad at me about it.

She showed me the face after that. And when I asked her something she either keeps quiet or answer me rudely. Well I'm not a piece of wood, certainly I realized something is going wrong.

"Are you mad at me...?" I asked timidly.

"Everyone has their limit." She said sternly.


I know but I was so hurt! D= But I realized it was my fault to say that so I apologized. And she accepted it. Then we're good again. =D

However, what I feel hurt is... she cant take the way I am... I mean...I mean she should know I was just kidding! Right...? ...Or it's a no-no/taboo to talk about people's bf/gf even though that's your bestie? Is that really a forbidden?

Anyway, I'm not accusing her of not understanding my joke or whatever. But this incident made me think again, should or should not take your best friends for granted. I used to think it's perfectly alright to do that as they are your best friends. But now I'm confused. As what she said, everyone has their limits after all...

Maybe we just should not take anyone for granted except your parents?

I've been hesitating should I write it out, as that's really a big chance she will know I'm talking about her here and I really afraid it gonna affects our friendship, THAT is really what I DONT WANT it happens AT ALL. But it really stuck in my mind ever since. I'd feel better to say it out.


***Dear Love,


If you're reading this, for whatever reason PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE dont get mad (you know I'm really scared of that). =( 


I love you! You know I really do! For now, for tomorrow, forever! 

X.o.x.o.

Northam The Suite Spa!

I dont know why even though I've been always mentioned that I am working at Northam All Suite Hotel as a Spa receptionist (fine I think I didnt mention what I work as) on fb, but STILL there's craploads of people asking me where I'm working, what I work as. Okay so hereby I'm telling all of you,

I am working at The NORTHAM ALL SUITE HOTEL as a SPA RECEPTIONIST. Am I clear now? Lol.

So here's some pictures I took that day around my working area. I really kinda like the environment there except the pay is a bit low...

Guess what I'm going to say. LOL! Yay! I'm as pretty as the flowers! Aite I'm just kidding. Heh.

Ginger tea provided to all guests! It's good for your health and also good to smell. But I dont like it 'cause it's too spicy. I tried once and since then I never drink again...

8 Benefits of Ginger Tea:

1. Impedes Motion Sickness

2. Combats Stomach Discomfort

3. Reduces Inflammation

4. Fights Common Respiratory Problems

5. Encourages Normal Blood Circulation

6. Remedies Menstrual Discomfort

7. Strengthens Immunity

8. Relieves Stress

Source: http://www.3fatchicks.com/8-benefits-of-ginger-tea/

So normally once you come out from the lift, you'll either see me standing there...

or sitting here. xD

I really like my hair in the picture, I look neat! xD

If you're wondering, 2 sessions means one and a half hour. One session is 45 minutes. And you'll enjoy 15 minutes of sauna for RM 140 nett. 

One session is 45 minutes without the usage of sauna it's RM 98. It makes the two sessions more worthy right? 

The other facilities included jacuzzi, steam and also body scrub. So to know more, please feel free to pay a visit here. LOL! 

Yaiks! I forgot to take pictures of our suite rooms for spa. It's big and nice! =D And gym room!

See the building building? It's also under the same boss of Northam All Suite and also Gurney Hotel. 

No lifefuard on duty! So must take good care of yourselves! And dont leave your children unattended! 

Nice view right? xD

Working in a hotel like a big family. And I really like my job 'cause I can have the chance to meet loads of people from different background and countries even be friend with em. Which also can enlarge my sight of view. Ain't it just sounds cool? =D 

And one thing, people keep on asking me where I come from, am I local etc. Or some asked me did I study oversea all 'cause of my accent! Haha! I think it's cool weh haha. Some even asked me am I Philipino or do I have Indian blood. I was like what??? Which part of me makes me look like I got Indian blood??? Some said I look like Thai, China girl. -__________- 

So now I know I'm looking so international. Haha! 

YEY!!!!!

WOW WOW YEY YEY! 

I just came back from dental. I ALREADY PULLED OFF MY TOOTH! I'm so happy sincerely. But there's another problem, how I'm gonna eat now. I still havent eat anything, bet I can only drink porridge, yea, drink. Half of my face is feeling-less. Numb! I cant feel the pain even if there's someone cut my face, I'm serious. LOL! But dont try it.

The dentist told me that I cant pull off any of my tooth anymore as I already got too little teeth. So before this, I got 6 teeth lesser than an ordinary human, which means people will have 32 teeth while me only got 26 teeth. And now! I'm 7 teeth lesser than y'all! Damn kelian weh!

Which is, I got 14 upper teeth and 11 lower teeth now. When y'all should have 16 upper teeth and 16 lower teeth. Dentist said I might need to go for tooth inplant.

I dont have wisdom teeth! Look, my lower teeth only grew until first molar on my right and until second premolar on my left. Jeez. One lucky thing is I dont need to go through the misery while growing wisdom teeth. 

Anyway, you know what! I went dental on my own! Actually I was waiting for my mum to bring me there but I kept on waiting since 12pm to 2pm. Kept on opening my parents' room door see whether my mum would realizes me or not. But no, even if I had already in and out for so many times. Cannot, too painful and I cant bear with it anymore. So I decided to go myself.

I'M SO BRAVE!

Luckily I dont have to wait for too long otherwise I could end up faint there. Injected two time narcotic, surprisingly it wasnt as painful as I imagined. Good good. And when he pulled out my tooth, I barely feel anything. Very good very good. xD Now I'm worrying will it pain afterwards. =/

I'M SO HUNGRY!!! =(

I'm so worried of my lower teeth, only got 11..... It aint gonna affect my appetite or what right?

Kill me please.

I cried the all night long, cant sleep at all 'cause of the fucking toothache. It's swollen until I cant even close my mouth as it is bloodily painful. Like I'd rather die. Even my ear is pain inside. How I wish I can chop off half of my face now and the fucking tooth. Once the dentist pull it out, I swear I'm gonna crash it with hammer into powdery.

And all the cb people, it's like damn obviously I've been talking about my toothache since the fucking last night, now still got people ask me 'what happened omg'. Cheebye you cant read english is it? Many updates in a row I'm ranting about my toothache and you still fucking ask me what happened. Ask ask ask every time I posted something you ask what has happened, you just cant read yourself right.

Fuck I'm so peh chek with all the tiny stuffs.

I popped all kind of medicine it says it would relieve the pain, all not working AT ALL.

ARGHHHHHHHH!!fgewrheaztghngnjES*(wGP43Y83%&)^&o%(##&q#t#%u q

KILL ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

'Dont follow me!'

Why so dramatic?

So there was a pair of couple around me having a fight that night. I bumped into the bf first and he was inviting me to join him for the drink. He then told me his gf was pissed off at nowhere and he doesnt even know what's the reason. He kept calling his gf, looking for her around. Since the gf is also a friend of mine so, to show my concern about this unfortunate, I followed the bf to look for the gf. 

Finally, he found her. For my own safety, I stepped back a little bit and watch. So the bf was trying to comfort the gf, but the gf ran away. The bf after her, but met a friend half way and got stuck, so I was like maybe I can help so I after her. 

Ran up to her, touched her shoulder, she stunned, looked at me and threw off my hand said "Dont follow me."

I was like .....o.0 It wasnt even my fault. Then I was like fine then. Looked at the bf and shrugged. There was nothing I can do. So apparently, either the gf doesnt like me, or we're just not that closed. =/ She then walked away ALONE on the street (like what we can see in the movie, gf walked off angrily and sadly, act like dont need anyone by her side and in fact she wants people to care about her) and frankly, it was late, the street was kinda scary. Summore she's not bad looking. 

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All these to me was so dramatic. And you should know it is really dangerous for a girl to walk down a street alone. What if your bf get annoyed and just leave you alone? What if someone touched your shoulder and when you turn back and saw a perverty guy? You dont know what will happen when every possibilities could be happened. =/

Sometimes, dont be so dramatic, you might regret about it. 

Hm I'm not complaining or whining about anything lah. These are all non a bit of my business after all. So yea, a very random post. I just wanna blog something can or not! xD

Anyway, the gf just apologized to me said she's so sorry about that night. Haha, I wasnt angry about it at all. So seems she is not that dislike me then. It's a good thing!

I'm so sleepy! I'm working on morning shift this week! I'll have so much time after work! But first off, I am really gotta go take a shower, and sleep!

Lastly!

A chamwhoring picture of me when I was working today. LOL!

Toodles! 

I'm so tired!!!!

I'm supposed to be in penang and guess where am I. I'm at home! Dang! Guess why. 'Cause I'm too smart until I left my pg's house key at home. So I've to drive all the way home from pg for that fucking key.

That's why I'm here whining about it.

Like real tired. My whole back and body. I wish someone can run on my back like running treadmill. Imagine... I've to drive back pg again. OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG. Imagine the jam... OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!

WHY?? WHY I LEFT THE KEY HOME?!

Be right back. I go wash off my make up and move to upstair.
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(10 minutes later)

There's a weird thing grows on my foot. I've been told that is 'chicken eye'. Aite, I wanna google search about what's the cause of it, what's inside, what will happen if I did nothing to it, how to get rid of it, etc. But I dont know what it called in english, and also in mandarin. Tak kan type 'chicken eye' meh.

It's painful! Everyday stare at it thinking what should I do about it. People said it just needs a minor operation,  but it sounds so scary!! Dont it has some kinda cream or medicine to put on it something like that??

That fucking chicken eye looks so disgusting... I'm always thinking what will it look like if I slice it with knife. Blood or some disgusting tissue? EW! EW! EW! EW! EW!

Gosh I"m really really sleepy now. I've gotta off to bed.

I want Nando's as lunch tomorrow!!! HALF CHICKEN I'M GONNA EAT!

Toodles!

I want it!

Watched a video on fb and it is so so so so wonderful.



I'd say it's the world best proposal and wedding ever. Of course, I think it's better than the cinema proposal. =P But I wonder how much did he spends for the whole thing. Omg. Included all the musical, people, avenue etc. 


It's so dramatic and I'm so loving it! She's the luckiest happiest woman in the world to has someone would like to spend so much time, energy, ideas and also money just to make his beloved one would has the most unforgetable and the most romantic proposal and wedding which only happens once in a life. 


I wish I can find someone like this too! Who willing to spend time on me! xD 


*Pray hard!


Owh and may them live happily ever after! Sincerely! >.<

He's just not that into you.

What so hard to find someone you love and he loves you back as much as you do? I dont know why but it seems hard for me. =/ 

When I heard someone around me got a bf, (not try to be mean or what) I'm think, even she can find a bf why cant I? My friends said I'm too picky that's why. 

NOH! I never really set some terms in my heart about being my bf. (Okay maybe I did.) But I dont think that's considered picky. Everyone has their ideal bf/gf, so am I. I'm just happen to be single. 

There are some conditions.

1. I'm just not into him. What I can do if I really got no feeling to em? No right.
2. He's just not into me. And what I can do about it. Okay, it happens sometimes. Wait, it wasnt considered as 'like' yet 'cause I'm just kinda interested in him. I'll talk to him and once I find him not into me, I'll stop. 
3. He's into me and I'm into him. Sounds great right, but thing is, he's not ONLY into me, he's an asshole who into all the girls. Fine.
4. And here comes the worst. I'm so into him, but he already has a gf. Fml.

What I mean it's the worst is the feeling. You cant stop thinking about him. Thinking should I text him? Should I talk to him? Should I let him know how I feel? You expect every message is comes from him. You keep every message from him and read it when you miss him. Before you open the message you stare at the name bar praying his name will show. BUT HE HAS A GF! What should I do? It is sooooooooooooooo frustrating. 'Cause there's nothing you can do! 

I know some of you will say, haiya you already know he has a gf, what for to like him, serve you right! 

Yey I know I know, serve me right. -.- But what can I do??? He's just so my type even if I know he's in a relationship with someone else. I wont spoil their relationship though ('cause I'm not gonna do anything). I'm not that kind of girl and that is exactly why it's torturing. It disturbs your mind and your daily life until you forget about him. Sad or not. =/

It feeling so hard that can even makes you wanna cry...

Aite, I've to go get ready to work now. =/ 

Toodles!

I'm the happiest kid!

Alright, I'M BACK!!!!! Online with my OWN laptop!!! Guess what, turned my dad told me the wrong password, that . is . why I cant connect to it. -.-

Tadah!!

So this is my uniform! I uploaded it on facebook in the afternoon. And I didnt expect people like it so much 'cause I got so much Likes for it. LOL!! You guys really so happy I got the job huh? THANK Y'ALL! 

This is what I've to go through everyday on my way to work. Dang!

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One more thing! I know it's a bit too late to talk about it but THIS IS SO DELICIOUS!!! 

FRUUZE!!!

This is mine! Specifically, it's Susan's, Casther's and mine. Hahaha. It's kinda pricy so we decided to share a big cup. 

Blueberry flavored yogurt is damn goes with the almond flakes and chocolate!!! I think that's KitKat. YUMMAYYYYY!!!

Alright, so this is Susan and Casther if you wonder haha.

Susan is my bestie since primary school and I'm currently staying at her place. Haha. Casther is my new friend, she's ncie! =D Nice to talk with and also nice to mix with. xD 

Ohw well, I've no idea why I'm telling this like reporting my life... Whatever. 

Look at my wtf-y-so-fat-arm, I requested to take another picture. And see... -.-

I've no idea why I was laughing like that... And I look DAMN fat! I slimed down already anyway. LOL. 

Bet I'm the last one in people who now only realized how amazing it is. -.- What! Tutti Frutti didnt impress me well mah! And both of them are the same species, I thought should be no different. 

I think Tutti Frutti is more expansive? It counts by gram. Fruuze has a fixed price. I'm not so sure how it counts actually. By the size of cup? 6 bucks, 9 bucks and 13 bucks. 

RM 6 is without the topping.

RM 9 is with err two toppings I think.

RM 13 is with three toppings. 

So I think it's safer lah, at least you wont accidentally take too much and suffocated when you pay. xD

In case I'm not the last one in the world who dont know about it. Fruuze is located at Straits Quay. (I think everyone should already know tho even you never try it before)

The environment is good also. =D You feel warmth there!

Very soon, we've finished our Fruuze. Should really try it if you havent yet! xD 

(3 people sharing a cup is a bit gross I admit. Imagine our saliva is... mixing with the ice-cream and we eat it... ewwwwwwwwww. But all girls... nvm lah haha!)

Toodle!